Why do people say “You’ll never be the same” like it’s a bad thing?
Ever had a conversation that goes a little like this?
“I love being a mummy. But I just wasn’t prepared for just how much I would change.”
“I probably shouldn’t say this, but a little tiny part of me misses the old me.”
“I had no idea what Mummy Guilt even was. Let alone how heavily I’d feel it. I feel so guilty about doing anything for myself…even taking a shower.”
At some point, most of my amazing mama friends and I have had variations of this hilarious chat.
Accepting that you are changed – forever – by this incredible thing called parenthood is beautiful. But it can also be tough.
Getting back little pieces of yourself in the months and years after you have a child is not an easy task.
One of my best friends who’s got three boys once called it ‘clawing yourself back.’
Whether that’s getting your body back into shape, building your confidence back up again, going back to work, going out with friends or on a date night.
Some people have no trouble at all pinging back to their pre-baby selves in every way. For others, it’s a long-haul process.
But why do people say “life will never be the same” before we have our babies, as if that’s a bad thing?
We are never, ever going to be the same. That’s just a fact.
I wouldn’t want to be the same as I was before I had my boy.
He’s made me a better person, in a million ways I never could have imagined.
Our babies make us better. They give us new perspectives, give us strength and make us fight harder. They make us love more, make us appreciate small things and give us more patience and compassion.
You should fight to keep every one of your identities after you’ve had a child.
You’re not just mama.
You’re still you, and everything that has always meant.
They’re right when they say that you will never be the same.
You’re still you, just better.